From Public School Teacher to Seminary Student (Part 2)

Here is Part 2 of the story (once again written by my lovely bride)

This Old House

Sometimes the cloud was a few days over the tabernacle, and according to the command of the Lord they remained in camp; then according to the command of the Lord they set out. Numbers 9:20

The passage above has become a dear one to me. God prepared my heart with it over a year ago as I studied the journey of the Israelites and began to get a glimpse of what it must have been like to be settled into a place and then told to move. It was a precious lesson about faith and obedience. Though the Israelites had the visual presence of God within a cloud and knew clearly just when to move, we too have been given guidance in His word. As the Lord began to press upon our hearts and show us that we are to move to California, we knew the next step was packing up our tent – a.k.a. selling our house.

As we discussed all the details involved in selling a house, we faced a very real fear…what if it didn’t sell? Would we still move our family to California for Dave to attend seminary? After much prayer and discussion, we decided that yes, we would still go whether or not the house sold. A calling is a calling…period. It’s not a conditional or contingent agreement with God about Him doing this and then we’ll do that. It is a step of faith…trusting Him. Worrying would be failure to believe God at His word. So, we resolved to do everything we could to sell the house, but to go to California even if it didn’t sell.

Over the weeks that followed, we began to do what everyone who wants to sell their home does…clean, declutter, paint, etc. As I moved from room to room, memories came flooding back. This is the first and only home we have ever owned. This is the home I brought my first baby home to…and my second…and my third. Every corner seemed to tell a story. As I went through the bedrooms, I remembered nursing and rocking each child in the rocker by the nursery window. I remembered cuddling up in bed reading bedtime stories and tending to sick children through the night. The basement brought back memories of all the family movie nights – eating pizza and giggling until past bedtime. Then there was the living room with the front window seat that our new puppy has claimed as his own this past year. And the comfy recliner that Dave sits in when he reads to the kids at night. And last but not least - the kitchen with its memories of baking cookies with the kids, hanging out around the island with friends after bible study, and Dave’s Saturday morning French toast. As I washed dishes that night, I looked out my kitchen window and saw my children playing happily on the swing set in the back yard. I pondered a moment about how this might be one of the last times I look out this particular window watching my children play in this yard, on this swing set. I know it all sounds a little silly, but it’s true. I got very sentimental and nostalgic during that time. It was wonderfully bittersweet. I was more and more endeared to my family as I thought about all the memories that have been made in this old house.

It also made me a little nervous. This house is all I have ever known. This street, this neighborhood, this town…it is my home. I know every little knook and cranny. I know and love all the little quirks. I love that I have to lean against the front door to get the dead-bolt to lock. I love that the floor creaks right in front of the window. I love that you have to jiggle the handle on the toilet when it runs. I love that the neighbor kids come over every afternoon and know where I keep the snacks. I love living two minutes from the pharmacy, the grocery store and the library. This is my home and it is comfortable. Will I ever love another home, another neighborhood, another community this much? Especially one in southern California, in L.A.? It didn’t seem likely to me at that point and I began to fret and worry. What were we thinking? Why in the world would we leave a place like this…and for what again? Seminary?

As the doubts and fears whirled around in my mind, I wondered if Sarah might have had some similar feelings. She didn’t even know where they were going…just that Abraham said God told him they had to go. We might assume they didn’t have much back in that time period, but Sarah’s house was nothing to wink at. Historical records show they had over a dozen rooms and at least two courtyards. I wonder if she went around each room reminiscing before they left. I wonder if she had doubts and fears.

In His great compassion, the Lord comforted me and reminded me that I have nothing to fear and that He is watching over my life. I am continually amazed by how personal God is, caring about the details of my life. I am also continually blessed by His faithfulness, especially when I am faithless. During a season when I should be the most “spiritual” and spirit-filled, I found myself busy and distracted. While I should have been praying and reading the word, I was consumed with all the details of preparing the house to sell, when only one thing was needful. Thankfully, the Lord sought me out and delivered me out from all my fear and anxiety. One day while I was packing up and cleaning up the basement, I put in a CD called "Redemption" by Sons of Korah. As I went about my work, the words of Psalm 121 hit me like a mac truck. I stopped packing and sat down on the couch and listened and wept. It was like the Lord was speaking right to me.

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

What was I worried about? The same God who has watched over my life the past twelve years in this house promises to watch over me forever. He does not slumber. He will not let my foot slip.

Yes, it was time to make this real. So, after much painting and primping, this old house was ready to show. So, we listed it on a Friday and put the sign in the yard. By Monday we had our first showing. As I flitted around the house fluffing and primping its pretty walls and floors, I thought about who might be coming and what they would think. Would it be a young couple just starting out like we were 12 years ago or a retired couple, or a family with kids like us? We threw the kids and the dog in the car and went to the park during the showing. By nine o’clock that night, we had an offer. It had only been four days and the first couple to walk through the house bought it. It was almost too good to be true.

“Who am I, O Lord God, and what is my house, that you have brought me thus far? And yet this was a small thing in your eyes, O Lord God.” 2 Samuel 7:18-19

Was God really this clear? So far in our lives, He has been. Perhaps he knows we are of little faith and need a big neon signs that say “go this way!”

As Dave and I sat on the couch that night, we just held each other and wept. It was a happy and a sad cry. We were so thankful to God and praising Him for his guidance and provision, and yet sad to say good-bye to this life here. Selling the house made it real. It was time to go.

Whether it was two days, or a month, or a longer time, that the cloud continued over the tabernacle, abiding there, the people of Israel remained in camp and did not set out, but when it lifted they set. Numbers 9:22